I want to derail a train and go through the pockets of the dead

FNB 10510-31910 Selections: Broken Through

2010-05-06T22:41:00.000-07:00

Cut the wires with my Russian knife. Broke through. My hands are scraped. My back is dripping. Smooth back hair and put my hat back on. I am in the place for now. Thank you RUSSIA. Wood chips and sodium lights this way. Cultivated shrubs in front of sodium parking garage.

It is toys, yes? Yes, but this is where I want to be, shake it off. This is my place. With the quite to the west and the drone of highway to my east. They are all closed off now, disconnected lights flying past my head-hanging-low-vision.

My lines led me to this cold same concrete ground. But now that I am here I see that there are two ways out 1)throught the hell I cut my way through back there, or 2) through the walkway I did not see.

My flame rolls into my own spit. My eyes are unable to focus on my own spit. I roll into the crevice and the acrid smoke stings my eyes.Rolling over my own liquid the flame goes out . Spots all around me the cold concrete on my ass again.

My blade is back through the wicked way. I get up slowly past the choked shrubs past the wall and through the tangled gate. There it was by the unused barrier. A man died there a few days ago, I heard the crash. It sounded like a snow plow on an empty street.

FNB 93009 - 21810 Selections: I need to finish today

2010-05-06T21:50:00.000-07:00

I need to finish this today.

The cracking of time is not helping me.

The nausea of time is following me.

My organs are not working the way they used to.

But they are hundreds around me waiting for him to come to me.

A man walks by in his black coat, he knows.

It is written all over the way he carries his phone.

I keep looking over my shoulder.

Fermenting anger in my views.

I am not filled whith what I think I should be.

I spend my last coin on cigs.

Here lost in middle USA waiting to arrive in CA.

There is still death here just like everywhere else.

Here it is just covered with redwoods and tide pools.

FNB 93009 - 21810 Selections: Lust Traveling

2010-05-06T21:44:00.001-07:00

Lust traveling through the exhaled choked air.

Lime, Heineken, cologne, sparkled bar top reflecting light.

Outstanding how my decisions force the next.

Empty and perishing she has a nice hat on.

Only 59.99 for endless DVD’s

FNB 93009 - 21810 Selections: I got what you need to the end of the over

2010-05-06T21:40:00.000-07:00

I got what you need to the end of the over

keep it true okay
flashlights acolytes

but can’t see straight alright

I am better here
piece the next thought

what if she can’t be the god of us all
need this

now nothing
the sound is sick
down, that is the desert
better lights

Field notebook 9/30/09 to 2/18/10 Transcription 3

2010-03-21T23:32:00.001-07:00

Fat yes, lets buy me that, yes, over there. At the parents house for the first time. Call me first time online. Check her account first, yes, okay.

Kelly came to the bar, he was not feeling it, he was unwell and unsettled. I needed something, I don’t know what. But she likes me not you, no she likes you not me, I mean. But I come here and the words were good. Nice lights: neon, bar lights, florescent and black light. My stomach hurts but that is okay because this is party city.

Feel like wooden. Feel no words. Now mouths on corners, feel like liquid stomach bile. Full of stupidity.

Fat face with drink. Fake wood bar top neon great smell. We are all here doing drugs great. What is she thinking? Can there be evils and suffering in the world? Yes. but not here, or not physical pain, here is maybe suffering maybe horrific suffering. No persons taking your life. No real feeling of cold and hunger. Here in the west we take our own life with food and drugs and inactivity, we are psychotically bored and medicated to death. Can we compare the two? Is it worth comparing the two? I cannot do it, have never feared for my life, especially from an outside force. For me it has all been internal. Can I compare the two?

Hell presupposed that there is someone to suffer infinitely. Bring it on I will eventually deal with it.

Cold Hard Facts

· I am going to take it with me

· Kinetic hiding does not get you in trouble

· I have been here as long as the boys have arrived

· Trying to stay awake

· Cold glass doors don’t give birth

· My body is counting to ten along the blondes thighs

· Tight outside is the valley of long luck

· Lovely competition can’t get you into hell

· Passionate muses can’t help you do the dishes

· The audio and video are not in sync

· Little men in suits

· The company was not alert

· We were not part of it

I am that much better I am sorry I had to work with I said it teen age great mount Air-a-rat I hate scope of the line of thinking.

Not a bad piece so far .what is the message? I don’t know. What I need to do is connect with celebrities. We have had the past 3 worst presidents, yes I can incorporate that somehow.

Bubbles flowing. Mind racing drenched in sweat toes tingling. Its okay its just infinity. The questions is danger.

Profalatic plane over black and white out for tonight. My ciggy burns with extraterrestrial light. Man at the door enjoying the night. Silver and turquoise crystals down my throat cold tips, then a blast of warm air traffic noise leaving a circular rim of organic matter on my glass. Night time on the west coast. Black coated men stroll down to the underground , creaking steal jarring my mind. The spot is leaving a sound before I see it. Bells ringing their Mexican sound. Where are they going Juan, I don’t know Philip.

At first there is fear. What will happen when the door shuts behind him, will they come over? Can I easily scream?

Car line beeps under my head all night moon is high I can see it through the reflection.

Field notebook 9/30/09 to 2/18/10 Transcription 2

2010-03-19T15:28:00.000-07:00

I want to be with them I don’t have the luxury of hating this life style but at the sametime I, unconsciously, can’t do it

They are cleaning. They want to get home. At this time of night no expensive customers. Blood on the sidewalk to keep the illusion.

Boy in suit talks to all the ladies. Boy in suit what does he want?

I just “vaulted it” and walked in to it. where are we. High. Nice to meet you. What is the whole setup here. Don’t talk to me. MADDDDD! Kegs, I don’t want it. fuck you they are the worst . you suck. No stairs. (lustily)

Fountains. Late night, nights. No beers on tap. Whatever. no, one of those beers. Miller? No David fountains are off. Cameras caught me as soon as I stepped on the quad. Great okay. I just need more I don’t know why I just want to let go. Why? One more? couple men in a white suit. Over the top. They gave a look like they wanted more ,then they looked depressed. San Fran tomorrow! 6 people got shot, that’s all.

Out with the glasses. Dishwasher smell. Clean out the clean glasses and clean them again. She wants to just get home to her kids. Three fist a blood mary and two beers, just like on the big screen TV. Not just “I go do stuff”.

Cultural reference: we got 2 changed names, what is your Eagle up to? Slap your crap. Battle cry. Fellow friend, I don’t like you, I have your kitten.

I am in the mafia. Football all the shit going here and there in 2 caravans for 15 bucks. Men with hollow eyes and jowls don’t last.

Cameras watching me teak wood tables under glass looked locked up so no Mexicans can sit there.

COURTESY Courtesy boxwood smell water (blood) dripping down the concrete steps

Black cigs smoke, all in a haze of Impuritance.

Granite walls wax floors put up signs, double screen computers.

California institute cameras are on me all the time. Shadows of dead flowers. voices bugged. Bus going home to work again tomorrow. University Circle we want more of the blood, on the fake seats. Gored concrete, throw your bottle caps in the tar.

Warf is dirty, water was kinda cute. I am soft spoken. Wartime waters looks like black oil. Just let the ocean be. The ocean – another world. The ocean blows my mind. Another world fundamentally different than my life above the sea.

Loko Primo me. Kalientie Kail. Silver wrapper waiting on a call from an earth bound mind.

KaKay ah yes into the… what are the “other worlds”? when one looks at something with the eye of intelligence one is just smoke stinging my eye.

Surrounded by paper napkins ,okay ,work on the car, cut the grass, clean the gum on the side of the side walk with high pressure heated water. It would be very pleasing to watch the gum peal back and fly away . got to get ready to go, but okay I’ll just spit my gum out anywhere okay now why don’t we put up the umbrella and wipe our face with a napkin. Not there is a reflection on the puddle, how depressing.

HAPPINESS IS:

Dirty puddle filled with ciggy butts
A loose bolt in my back
Tar on the side walk encasing small bent bottlecaps
Ash on my foot that I track onto a nice corporate office
A number of unusual vehicles covered in spider webs
Movies I want to watch to escape life with a cup of coffee then I lose interest in the movie and want to do something but I don’t want to do anything
Opening doors with people coming out and going somewhere else.
White pure silica inhaled through the nose
A cool breeze that reminds me that there is a atmosphere
Unfed plants let out to live
What is it about all the aliens wondering around eating truths
Scraping the last pieces of food from a plastic container
Beer imported from Mexico
Rings founded on lost generations
Orange brown dots painted on loose tables made grocery bags
A patterned infant on the crying concrete ground.
Overcharged spit stains left on my lower face
Half hidden hoodies on the crank-operators realistic paintings.
Alternating drugs taken I continue to eat shellfish
Perforated concrete stays

Outside waiting for it to hit, hit it has to hit. Drawing lights from internal. Window across the street is out that is okay man smoking watches me, he is thinking differently than me. Is that a question?

Look at the world as I would draw in through a pen and paper. Like looking at the world as I would photograph it.

The big one. Want some chips yes. Well it si not always as it seems. What was it about to night. I don’t know over hearing music man next to me what is this playing what will happen when all this is rotten away some nights are not great for anything but the key is to keep writing, especially on those bad nights.

Field notebook 9/30/09 to 2/18/10 Transcription 1

2010-02-23T00:09:00.000-08:00

Gender relationships are slowly traveling towards the golden bleach clotted valley. Turned out of the bee winged radio. Soft oak blunt foot treads are left on the ant hills next to the beach. Bar tunes filled with sprinkles. I see the bad smells coming out of this rotten pot. I see shadows in the room house I stopped for the night . the one I loved “forever” sleeps next to me , she does not love me.

Experiential cylinders can covet what is lying at their feet.

The girl sits alone watching TV most girls her age are out drinking liquor and being better than her. You think she would hate it but the middle of her mind is gone, her face and body have gone all fuzzy.

Funded, you know we got a couple. Hello nice to see you.

Death market right market sticker on my hanging body. Partner, not here two frigg’n months and the smell of it! Do we have time and enough food what was it I was supposed to repent for? Stern face until it is good enough, still too scared to let it go. Rocks on the wall you had seen as a teenage boy. Walks through the bar imagining myself as him walking through a fancy bar that my parents brought me to on out vacation.

Man wonders into house finds people in the house it is my mental mouse, my house.

Young looking grease on the table next to me. Man in the Hawaiian shirt is questionable, his death is always on his mind but when it comes, he will not be as happy as he expects to be.

At a restaurant a lot of prepared food get tossed: unfinished meals, wrong orders, burnt food, patron send backs, and kitchen scraps. All this food goes into trash bins strategically placed around the kitchen and dish washing area. There is a very unique smell associated with these trash bins. Not a rotten garbage smell ,but a sweet –savory-bleach smell, a sickly sweet smell cut with bleach and savory meats, there would be a stomach turning iron smell of blood on the days raw meat was delivered. That smell has lodged itself in my mind. I spent many long nights smelling that smell high on Mt. Dew and orange juice, sweating in the heat of the ovens and industrial dish washer.

ERCON NOCRE #2

2009-12-23T22:25:00.001-08:00

Stop earth on troll pork no creak past.

Scoop their con colored broker cost

supper, troll pork no creep us

Soup you can’t for the three of us

ERCON NOCRE

2009-12-23T22:14:00.000-08:00

Sup-ercon-trollort-nocre-puS

Field notebook 9/30/09 - ongoing (Exerpt) Gender Relationships

2009-12-17T13:06:00.000-08:00

gender relationships are slowly traveling towards the golden bleach clotted alley.
tuned out of the beetle winged radio.
soft oak blunt foot treads are left on the ant hills next to the beach.
bartunes filled with sprinkles.
i see the bad smells coming out of this rotten pot.
i see shadows in the room houses i stopped at for the night.
the one i once loved now expired.

narrative #1

2009-12-03T17:14:00.000-08:00

I lost it. the detector can’t find me here. here comes another one. nothing. again.
The only way it will work is if I can get home to watch TV.

It is 32 degrees and I am on my own list. Ciggy. Beer is not doing it anymore. I will only puke if I have anymore and besides everyone else is asleep. I don’t want to be alone with the drunk voice in ym head telling me what I know I have to do. I just want to go home watch some TV and try to sober up amnd fal asleep. I have a choice more tickets or one more beer.

Anxiety is all over me right now. Go to the pisser white tile, the rancid piss smell. Come back to the bar. Weird man comes in, asking the bartender for something. But he was talking to low to hear.

Field Notes - one night late november 2009

2009-12-03T16:46:00.000-08:00

Overturned bottles of beer litter the beach

The blood soaked grass is a picture of rainbows

Ash on the plastic table or on the concrete sidewalk, next to the bench

Sliver turn for the fingers that clamp down and keep it tight. Moving – glass bubbles – ash – rotten stone.

White boy on the concrete steps. I pass a Mexican selling oranges on the corner, as I drive by. What does he do at night?

Taking pictures of sprinklers why are they on at night? Water drains down over the sidewalk it makes me think of blood.

Ciggy makes me want to go home but what is there. I can’t quite see it in this state. I know what I need but right now it is 2 late.

Scratches in the plastic table: An accumulation of lines.

I hear a creak and a ping. Cars along 101 in the distance. A chair next to the window outside. What is trip going to give me? Another escape. What am I escaping from?

Keep going up the stairs to the time when I have to go home (I am not alone there) I am alone here with my ash and bubbles.

A new white page and the orange glow of burning paper lights up my thoughts. All alone here in my plastic table surrounded by rotten posts and amateur thoughts. Trying to end it all.

Damp pants in the desert. I fart remnants of life I am part of the ultraviolence of simple life forms. that does not jive with my easy life style. So I drink alone. I am friends with these words. I am searching but stuck within the nounds of my own limits.

Bubbles on the rim of my bottle the observers above me lock their doors. The lights are still on for me. Time is broken as I take a sip of my beer and think.

Still rising. the blinds are half open to an empty apartment. The walls settle with a creek and a ping. Singular holes in the wooden doors there are beings just like me behind there why are they not here with me trying to answer these same questions. I go back home and just be drunk and feel sick tomorrow.

Split the shell and blow smoke up in the air. There are others like me out there. We all breathe in and out and wonder what everyone else is doing.

I sit at the railing or in the plastic lawn chair listening to the sound of cars, music and my own words.

Spit hangs off my tongue as it makes it way to the floor. There is a lighter with an eroded sticker next to me.

I have the choice to be alone with my thoughts or be alive with my actions.

Observations #22

2009-12-03T16:36:00.000-08:00

my plastic tail has a history

Observations #21

2009-12-03T16:09:00.000-08:00

the handle of the overturned toy is purple

2009-11-30T14:24:00.000-08:00

reflections in the mirrored granite

a new trilogy from the masters of horror

my own leagues standing is poor

shinning men can't beat me

Disorientated bubbles on the phone

these girls celebrating the bald man

hold on, don't start that story i have to leave in half'n hour

the hardest part is the usual

ranch dressing, 2 for $20

my darts are dull

my eye makeup is running

what are you doing with my feathers

storbe lights on the second floor

my suit is wrinkled take me to the lab

i told you what happens when you drink

what shall we call it

blue eyes looking into the game

everything babe, this is life

people get their kicks on keeping it big

lets all sin together

business men have full bladders

break that shit bitch

come on boys, over the hill

hide the booze the pope is coming over

can i see your picture

i received this notice

playing guitars until my cowboy hat melts

she researched my past

our new outer sports ware, now in a sliver metal

that is just cold hard police work

last time i was here i was a cheerleader

hey brother you stole my stool

while processing the past i became sad

why is it my lies?

not their bodies, their minds

the phoenix is getting paid

scripts about childhood obesity

the rockies are not worth taking to that elevation

2009-11-03T09:53:00.000-08:00

One man could find his way into the deep dark underworld. Thought flame is going on in my head, what are the answers? That is the "what-is-the" train of thought, habituated in me since I was young.

Underground - Dim spotlight on a Round face, teeth, the light gathers strength and enlarges, teeth more light, the teeth go all around its head. Emotional Impact - I saw him smile, then there was fear.

Later-now in an unknown place. My glasses are red from all the influx of wine. Over there in the dusk I am wondering how the blankets will feed the remains travelers? I am wondering how I will sleep tonight.

I want you to go down to the stream and see what is goin gon. Can't me and you just go? it hits me it, model lenses dissolve.

Field notebook 3/17/09 to 9/29/09 Transcription 5 (last)

2009-11-03T09:44:00.000-08:00

Employ for cash back go away power to train with food percolators over not to continue did not talk we want to break them tell me anythings mad we found our players were not 500 bucks later. Rich mover too B blee the nasable you forgot the OOOH. On the coast of century Afrika centuries of debate over 16 year old directives. Hhelp me over the hill Ted Bundy I love what you have done with my house, the decorations are great.

Talk talk we are not going to tonight okay what can we do I can’t sleep tonight he, not me, said to her (I loved her) she said okay well I’ll just have to keep you up.

Walt Manchester going overboard tonight, ‘don’t’. Well I feel like wood like a decaying log but I am here so it is alright to feel bad, is it not? I can still enjoy those rare times when I see the purple flowered trees, and empty.

I can see her as old her face has android colors she is penning her magnum opus she is mine she is mine. Her weight is inconceivably huge, without certain technological advances she would be dead.

Over all this - what is all this - was I born into all this? Have these lame movies and music always been this way? Have there always been people like this?

Drink opens me up. See the dirt but the dirt is not so disgusting. I watch it, it is not making me sick what I see is love sometimes.

Can’t hard to start, core to talk to. Although when the end ken book is already there. But that is not a problem I willingwill not try ,that is okay.

Old ladies drinking they are old what has become of their lives I think my negativity is coming from a habit that says how vile can I get. Oldness just give up you go to bed and lay there try to fall asleep but the thin tiny thought comes. Is this it? And you shake it off just like 10 million times before and sleep and have shelves full of sleep. Good nice drapes, grey in color. As I pass out. Waking up reciently with a jolt of anxiety a jolt dualism a jolt of ‘I should be something I am not right now’. ½ blowing steam of color out of my mouth face painted grinding old wooden floor used as a bar here, dilapidation. If I remember correctly there is some clay that I think I can use to make some cook ware up over the hill.

My knees hurt they are numb after I unbend them after they have been bent for a while. My finger joints hurt. I want to take a nap. I feel a level of anxiety about being sick which, is much worse. I am afraid I am going to die. I am afraid I am very sick. I am.

The shadowy entourage killed the human beings in K-Mart tonight ,they were all wating to be cash cows they were all filled with fat and depression and bad skin

Oblique testing revealed my weaknesses. After all the paper work was done they started asking me all sorts of soft, slightly sitcom amusing questions.

I am motivated by money

I have only one light to live, that is my motivation.

My eyes flashed a TV’s electric blue as the dance began. I was left with black eyes and a black suit with black buttons and a black belt and shoes.

This creature. Flying to the left of the flowers in the machined ground next to the hotel.

Flying butterflies on black mulched ground. Smoking cig on grey steps next to brown painted steel handrails. Purple incarnation. Yellow yearning. Blue grey limestone.

What is teeth and pure talent and feeling

Saved myday to the next they have brand new with untouched packages

Suggestions

2009-10-13T22:30:00.000-07:00

Happiness is the intestines of a dead man
Overbearing parents do not do their own dishes
Chronic bed wetters don't keep promises
Why don't you just give me a chance I can do it really good
Wobbling over to the tended field I fell over and hit my head
Nothing is in the pure white hospital room
Just keep the truth at hand, always
Only eat things with color
100 blizzards in her neck while I obsessively played the video game
Future furniture can't be held responsible for their actions
My future context is founded on ancient doctrines
Nothing will lend money to concrete sidewalks with broken tree root
Under the rusty tree, eaten
We were lost in the depths of outer space without a thought about the world as we had known it
Don't buy houses next to neighborhoods by bars if you want

Field notebook 3/17/09 to 9/29/09 Transcription 4

2009-10-13T22:28:00.001-07:00

An I am a little disappointed the standards of our goodness is just not showing up. And I can’t keep my mama and I say you suck. I figure if I don’t get a huge refund I will just ream out the deductive. Your own mind it is only a couple of 100 bucks – and that all comes from a seasoned “Guy”.

So no just can’t understand what I should just drink until I. so no ya every thing falls into place ya I understand ya he is a gold guy not into myself here. We got.. Yo, just got to do what you have to do hey that’s your man don’t let him hang horhay is in the house.

Exactly just listen. god, I am good right now he understood hey he crossed the line I got some shit to show you get your fuck.

Lot to write about. To much energy 2 be here can’t stop to think can’t spell, got spell checker 4 later. Uncontrolled what uncontrolled. Here, just kinda feeling kinda glassy to sharp and unstable. Glassy is a good way. Unsure if a drink is really what I need. I can make it go away. Feels better when it is for me feels better when it is for me no form no expectations. Nothing….

Worst vodka tonic ever. omg it sucked. I still drank it because the bar tender is a friend and he made it strong and I wana get drunk so I ordered a Guinness instead and it looks good for (pushing my ego here, deleted).

Lets have a ciggy where is the berlin wall. Actually MD-PA. if you were not a guidance counselor not a bar tender no other way around. I want to listen to P.S. I want to relive my youth. Fuck my youth. Fart. I hope knobody noticed. The thing that separates me from Joyce is Joyce is dead and 99.9% of what I write is boring.

Feeling more spongy and feeling myself floating into the surrounding matter except for the spider on my neck. You never meet the ones who put it there. There is only the hope or maybe the neutral potential that others can relate to the work. My life is confusing and at many time horrible and sometimes unbearable the only path is to draw my way out.

Panormous – pizza hot pizza search

My mucus membrane is healing with prodigious amounts of Guinnesses.

I still ned you outside I need you oh god in the my my you put me (bed in the cabin) down look at my face I need you inside need to stay awake awake – shadow – I hate him.

Dendriurethane. Pure 80’s fun, I like my 80’s music in capes and spring driven. Big boobed blondes.

Six heavy walking chilled hockey stars. I just started personing. Close faced hard working tater artists. Sounds sounds 10 docks. We will get ya this is not fun I got cute once, go some place you know, go down a 1 way street the time, put your came for the eating flesh on. I went my my way man six really chilled drinks to the escape pods yes yes yes yes!

Field notebook 3/17/09 to 9/29/09 Transcription 3

2009-10-05T12:44:00.000-07:00

Enjoy all season long!!!!!

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What is the other been confused with what my purposes are what happens when I just write for myself or draw for myself for that matter the reader/viewer becomes me or the creator becomes the created.

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The creator becomes the created for

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Again, the GREAT “how one pronounce words conversation” is going on, how boring.

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He leaves his guy took the when he I am fields under the no boby ababy baddaydydad 41 1:00:30. To go in the half galss legged he has under ooh OOTOT every Saturday looks at me and over me can’t but be got to make that as long as I coon cat see the game. Who is that smell? To much perfume ugh golden highway folded airplane. The clown is leaving the game is over to drunk to care. Metso kun too no moko me ta trust me to be your request not really but mine to read got to IOI to got to II can’t I III TTT I steal but on.

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CREATIVITY

What happens when the created beomes the created for i.e. the artist creating for their own self (enjoyment, pleasure, “a need”, etc…)

Art can exist on its own without any “deeper meaning” – “social commentary” (art is mine)(art is mine)(myartismine)

This is what I have been trying 4 all mylife. The thrill of having others praise you in Intoxicting! (but) Give it up – leave the Earth for the Universe.

I wonder about the validity of authors/artists who show/publish their work. F that if I like it I like it (? Lazy excuse) my mind/reasons/drive is the only thing I need to worry about (what am I trying to get here? I am trying to rationalize something here, justification of an underdeveloped sense that I am worthy and good. I see myself as partially human. Am I without the tools to process jealousy and fear)

Writing lets me expand change/… (beyond what I thought before) my consciousness/models.

I mean this influence of creativity thing or this duality between creating for yourself and creating (following reworded) to prove to others that you are amazing. Art as self-centered rather than as Sele Destroying (the latter being the positive) or boundless creativity as opposed to thinking to much.

The two are very different, the creating with logos vs mythos? “thinking too much” just becomes an inhibitor to creating with purebeing purecreativity. Go beyond that, and then beyond that, …

Some artists worry so much about, “giving a message” “saying something” (and that becomes the whole piece) (and if there is “worry” present the work will fail the artist and viewer) (not that giving a message is bad, but worrying is death) (conclusion? I guess don’t worry, and just keep working)

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Mindfullness walking – encounter with different beings. Strutting in the middle of the street – proud man.

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Number crunching number crunching 10 years ago that is predicated on really caring what is going on. Night in total darkness without light I can feel at home no eyes looking at me nobody to care about what I do alone and free, but I am alone in this.

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I have to learn to change or I have to really put a lot of effort or energy to be good – this is just an idea. This notebook has to be transferred to be mine (deleted) this transfers the spirit of the work I am going to be fighting this all my life the spirit behind the work for me for “them” for an idea. What is the “what is the spirit behind the work”? (deleted)

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That’s fine yeah ---- a fine man and sometimes he goes home and works 29 or 30 years and life is too short and I will go home and do 29 or 30 years of work and that is a lot of work.

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She shot me in the mountain retreat. We used to be so organized I could plug it in myself. But that does not constitute an… well I hate to say it for embarrassment but for aggression.

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Cosmic burst – vodka on ice

Field notebook 3/17/09 to 9/29/09 Transcription 2

2009-10-01T21:47:00.000-07:00

STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP

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Prepare para yourself I am back precede into the underlying cut off the I like her hair cut cut short – back. Man we don’t need to go into the cut – my like language gauge short – the cut. Mouthed poet new Holland born and died where for me I want to die in Zuric.

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I want my life to be a blind taste test. Sensory input devoid of memories models and cancer devoid of life what good are metaphors really?

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Is she a clown? She was attractive until I realized she looks like a clown but was not a clown. I don’t like clowns but that is not a good reason to dislike a person but a person who looks like a clown but does not know it, I have no respect for.

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(Deleted)

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Call me to come over and wait .now I smell bleach and loud successful men. No no not here hold my tender hold.

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Feel Alien. Must be the dishwasher smell – bleach and dissolving old food.

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“everyone needs to change the universe”

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What is it about those things that make me love someone so much I could cry.

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(Deleted)

----------------------------

But what does it mean to do this? manifest destany Manafest Destany Man A Fest Dest Tany

----------------------------

Look and smile. Chatter energy energy smile first 3 of 10 yes yes yes you did it body rubber boddy rub.

----------------------------

Resavior constitut resavior constitution pain killers pain that is too much to fear of death no say. Say. 2 much to say in Texas. You can live outside it without being an ass about it.

----------------------------

That’s is a large bottle. I need a drink from that large bottle know it is my time for a wonderful thing

----------------------------

He looks like a boxer there used to be people like him in the movies. Now there are just beautiful people. But fuck I don’t care about that. I don’t care about that dullness I am exciting.

----------------------------

Cat meows – off people like pigs these days old scars from beating off the devil off.

----------------------------

Gentile my ass I want to drink tonight.

----------------------------

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrI just like looking at the words.

----------------------------

What is genus. Did Dylan Thomas have it (trying to train myself to write in caps, spelling not yet) What a Genius.

----------------------------

The witching hour – he loves heer trying 2 much fuck this DWDDDW over the hill. Name the ship. OTHER

Field notebook 3/17/09 to 9/29/09 Transcription 1

2009-09-29T16:32:00.003-07:00

Irish Fucks, Irish Fucks, Irish Fucks, Diamonds they say – I am telling you god damn goddamn ooooooo! Split fish on the happy days, yes. Around damn Irish fucks. They want us to have a good night. Baseball cut-ups, just feel like change all – I want to drink all night I will kill time not time change From much is I – it is heavy that chain- man. I don't not know things, I am unfull. Later… be nile or go away, is a big ass me I was man just frying my classes glasses. 5:35AM just man, not hardest. all it is, is the hardest in me, time to change – set it up okay. Thing – self – the hardest the hardest. Boring got to sell yeah ya yay I will. Iis we boring? Not real, I… this (points to body) are all here just trying to make it! You think it is hard you are!! Did not feel creative today on those pills. Not da helping - ther I was th' just an'. Days stick to form, I know development. I am tired of my own shit and any time you are ready come get it.

---------------------------

This is a true pint

My bottled beer does not

Cars with enemies in
I even fill it them
I am beliu
I am a bigfella's
Drivite sector is d' beliefe
I get pints!

---------------------------

PINT PINT PINT
I GO WITH AN ALE IN
THE ASS
PEARL

---------------------------

Ridiculous I don't get it I don't get it walking listening go? Another one boundless –trees – branches see me scattered bits of information I could have done that I could have done that distorted. Real. Stuff. Truly beautiful when the concepts are washed away awareness of it. Art devoid of context but not making context an evil. Just not faking or taking anything to seriously – some are just boring. Class room. I want the branches to touch the mountains what is that I don't get it. How much are they worth. It's okay I have seen much worse. But what about me. Judgement. Awareness. Art is nothing. Just more stuff. Boundless stuff.

---------------------------

French Modernism
Matisse + Cezanne = genitals?

---------------------------

BREAD
2 cups H2O 110°F (~I cup per loaf)
(add)
2 ts yeast
1ts sugar
2ts salt
(optional: add egg here)
Whisk it
Then add flower until you get consistency of heavy cream
Change tools – whisk to spoon
Add flower with spoon
Continue till hard to mix
Let sit (cover with damp dish rag) 1hr – (until) spongy (yeast growing)
Before it falls stir it down
Start adding flower again until it looks like it is done (kneadable)
Then knead – 10min
Cover in oil
Let rise – proof it – should hold fingerprint – either shape it into a loaf or pound it down and let rise half way – make loaf
Bake 350 30to40min
Done – tap bottom of loaf should sound hollow.
(it tid-bits (oaks, caraway, raisins, other dried fruit, nuts, seeds and so on…) are wanted add while whisking)

---------------------------

2009-07-12T10:25:00.001-07:00

Do you know what is know?

Do you know that which is known?

Make a list somewhere. Of these specific upstream ratio of radio

2009-06-24T14:22:00.001-07:00

You are my shining example of what could have happened.

Boosting the Virtue of Boredom

2009-06-14T16:13:00.000-07:00

I like to read about people doing drugs

I like to read about crazy people, people with schizophrenia and manic-depression

I like to read about ---------------------- and ----------------------

I like to read about people eating other people

I like to read about murders

I like to read about speedball overdoses

They are all popular, I don’t like doing coke or killing or tripping or cannibalism, but I wish I did so I could be popular, I need to be told I am valuable.

Is there transcendence in decadence?

Beauty

2009-06-05T18:11:00.000-07:00

Beauty

Loveliness

Good Looks

Prettiness

Attractiveness

Charisma

Charm

Attraction

Magnetism

Pull

Drag

Haul

Tow

Lug

Heave

Raise

Hoist

Lift

Raise Up

Pick Up

Spontaneous

Impulsive

Impetuous

Rash

Hasty

Thoughtless

Inconsiderate

Selfish

Self-Centered

Egotistical

Narcissistic

Vain

Faith

2009-06-05T18:10:00.000-07:00

Faith

Confidence

Self-Assurance

Self-Confidence

Self-Possession

Control

Rule

Manipulate

Influence

Dominate

Oppress

Tyrannize

Repress

Subjugate

Conquer

Overthrow

Defeat

Vanquish

Annihilate

Wipe Out

Destroy

Water-River

2009-06-05T18:08:00.002-07:00

Water

Wet

Damp

Soggy

Saturated

Inundated

Swamped

Busy

Hectic

Frantic

Frenzied

Furious

Enraged

Angry

Irritated

Aggravated

Provoked

Motivated

Forced

Compulsory

Required

Necessary

Essential

Vital

Very Important

Crucial

Urgent

Burning

Ablaze

On Fire

Enthusiastic

Excited

Eager

Keen

Fanatical

Eager

Ready

Prepared

Set

Put

Place

Rest

Relax

Unwind

Wind Down

Unwind

Let Everything Go

Calm Down

Soothe

Pacify

Appease

Mollify

Placate

Conciliate

Make Peace

Stop Fighting

Bury The Hatchet

Resolve Your Differences

Kiss And Make Up

Make Peace

Make Up

Structure

Configuration

Design

Plan

Diagram

Illustration

Figure

Shape

Form

Appearance

Emergence

Coming Out

Materialization

Manifestation

Demonstration

Expression

Representation

Depiction

Portrayal

Exposé

Rendering

Interpretation

Symbol

Pictogram

Icon

Star

Idol

Vip

Luminary

Achiever

Go-Getter

Self-Starter

Live Wire

Extrovert

Activist

Campaigner

Crusader

Guardian

Protector

Sovereign

Supreme Ruler

Monarch

Leader

Guide

Control

Rule

Run

Stream

River

TV Cut-up 1

2009-06-05T10:09:00.000-07:00

Domestic snake dinners

God does not believe in oily asians

Wavo Del Toro

2009-06-05T10:07:00.001-07:00

Wavo Del Toro

money was hard to cme by. We were poor

we were needy we were dead

we cut it open after we found what remained of who she was.

The insides spilled out

I NEED all of this

2009-06-05T10:05:00.002-07:00

Feel high -More to spare now - 3D dimensions

I want her. I want her to see every inch of myself

I want to cry with her

I want to shit with her

I want to be sick with her

I want to tell her the truth

I want her to be close to me

I NEED all of this

2009-06-05T10:02:00.002-07:00

dark - her eggs - it was funny

I didn't want to read what I wrote

all these years ago. What. who was it?

Its all right I don't have to read it

Listen a thunder storm is coming or it that a car?

Nekeraghwa

2009-06-05T09:55:00.002-07:00

Nekeraghwa

Dark secret of the self

The Nekeraghwa Nights!

Zee Stomack all the parts stuffed into the intestines

chopped face into the dinner plate

the the home made hair is thrown into the lake

native grasses surrounding

Observations #21

2009-05-31T23:52:00.004-07:00

The folds in the blanket are accentuated by the dim lights from outside my window

leaving is the answer

2009-05-31T23:29:00.000-07:00

leave

go away

move

turn

alter

modify

transform

renovate

repair

put back together

reconstruct

reform

development

maturity

age

time

instance

example

model

paradigm

archetype

original

innovative

pioneering

revolutionary

rebellious

disobedient

insubordinate

mutinous

defiant

insolent

rude

impolite

bad-mannered

coarse

vulgar

tasteless

insipid

dull

lifeless

unresponsive

unfeeling

cruel

brutal

evil

atrocious

vicious

vile

abominable

terrible

grave

serious

important

significant

major

main

key

solution

answer

Insect

2009-05-31T23:12:00.001-07:00

Insect

Bug

Creepy-Crawly

Pest

Nuisance

Irritation

Annoyance

Infuriation

Exasperation

Frustration

Aggravation

Provocation

Irritant

Pain

Ache

Throbbing

Sore

Tender

Loving

Affectionate

Demonstrative’

Warm

Kind

Caring

Thoughtful

Considerate

Understanding

Sympathetic

Concerned

Worried

Anxious

Edgy

On Edge

Jumpy

Tense

Overwrought

Stressed

Harassed

Hurried

Quick

Rapid

Fast

Speedy

Immediate

Instant

Instantaneous

Direct

Straight

As The Crow Flies

Nonstop

Hysterically

Uncontrollably

Wildly

Violently

Aggressively

Forcefully

Vehemently

Fervently

Passionately

Avidly

Keenly

Eagerly

Enthusiastically

Excitedly

Hungrily

Impatiently

Intolerantly

Edgily

Irritation

Nuisance

Pest

Creepy-Crawly

Bug

Insect

2009-05-08T19:27:00.000-07:00

simulated annealing 2

2009-04-30T14:08:00.001-07:00

Here's the first fruits of the 2D molecular dynamics code. It's a
picture of the paths taken by 30 particles in a 2D box, over the
course of one molecular mechanics run. The particles repel each other,
and are repele and each one has a different color. code By: Sane Job Ken

simulated annealing 1

2009-04-28T14:48:00.002-07:00

Random array of colored dots. Test2.prl picks the colors from Gaussian distributions, and adds

a slight bias to lighter colors in the center. code By: Sane Job Ken

2009-04-28T14:35:00.001-07:00

My extinction is directly that which can before, that which could not be held down to the world. 100 or even 300,000 members of the lichen volcanism cults cannot hold me down tell them to be cautious. Then, and many shall hear, what has persisted for years, is there anything else that the warming assumption cannot completely understand the climate. There is much to be done number 7. Years ago three attention focused sons forgot the paleontology that called caused my powerful impact. I became the professor of change but my downfall was her, at 65 below. Now it appears that she was the one who knew all aspects of this expeditious cause.

nobody should hold

2009-04-21T09:14:00.001-07:00

nobody should hold you back I feel bound -walled up- stuck by my connection that I need to act in a way that people I admire or really just everyone will like me or think that I am cool or not geeky and stupid and not unaware or something like that – someone smart and “above” others – I don’t want to feel bound by these things anymore, garbage face smell, smell of washing dishes gold anarchy slopping wet food gotta get it clean wanna belong, was that just a line in the film “give me money for a ME!” something, dinner I have not ate (eight) all my change for a cigarette AMERICA. River smell like tadpoles my childhood of tadpoles.

Picking paint

2009-04-21T09:13:00.001-07:00

Picking paint of the scarab, munch on cherry blossoms and grass.
Smelling mulch eating it in, pain in my lip from, sure lip mulch.
(Inside my head feeling anxiety about being alive.)
Picking green paint of the scarab, just being alive, wind blew bly, blue bly
Wana be at the bench without his aching head.
Smushing thoughts roll through the broken baskets
Roll-lolling tongue of feelings in my body.
Autan starscape warm tongue of thought…

Fragrant matter

2009-04-21T09:11:00.000-07:00

Fragrant matter it is all coming together now.
I am burning but not so alone anymore.
I need her to just take care of me sometimes.
Just hold me make everything all right no so alone so alone.
Fluid motion forward not with budges in time.
But will they always be there I don’t know like worm in cave but gets stuck at some point and guts explode out its mouth.
Law over Oversum Oversum tramping in cold wood stained stomak rotten wood over the hill in the rotten stomak nobody knows.
I am cold can I come over I am so lonely I want to sit but what if she does not like me oh he is a nice guy no she would think nice person.
We love the classics.
We hate God and Jesus.
What is on your face.
Repetitive actions make fears go away fear – repetitive actions.

Seems to me…

2009-04-02T09:35:00.001-07:00

Seems to me…
education
gaining more knowledge and experience
getting over a cold
brain power
social class
sailing in a ship
parents
genetics
life experience
weather
stars
food I have eaten
friends – enemies – acquaintances – and people I have passed
drugs I have taken
TV shows I have seen or not seen but only heard of
robotic industries
my brother
to many people care
paperclips
my parents
people I have dated
people I have wanted to date
people I have wanted to fuck
people I have wanted to love
optional refreshments
receipts are piling up

Heat my shoes

2009-04-02T09:34:00.000-07:00

Heat my shoes and oh God torn my ribs and blood are in me
but mostly in my past
I was more unreal then
killing seemed cool or badass I had no conception of empathy
but I think there was the feeling of it.
The two were not yet connected.
Teach children to kill at a game.
The future of war.
I think it is a very smart idea.

Dorling Lord

2009-03-31T14:21:00.000-07:00

Rogue, rectangle how tar in dewlap, novae be yet yet

Mean Magi, amok yet law be, end no three as it is in evil novae us sight yard rue Iliad dank

Dear epigraph us rue as, Seascape we epigraph shot how Shaper Stigma

So done duel sum ton onto, Instatement tub reviled sun morph

Live roof zenith so eat, Moonlike heat redwood Donna heat

Yolk rot rave done

Rove nomad

Phase 4 (arbitrary phase breaks)

2009-03-31T13:51:00.000-07:00

Fragrent matter it is all coming together now. I am burning but not so alone anymore. I need her to just take care of me sometimes. Just hold me make everything all right no so alone so alone. Complexity. Implications for increase in information on my consciousness. What is power – better – how does increase in power change my consciousness. My relationships – humans relationship to this planet why save anything.? Humans seem to be tending toward a more and more visual or digital world “on the screen” view. – Less internalizing thoughts? Detachment from actual materials astetics moving from 3-D and 2-D manually produced things to digital flat bright so different from our evolutionary past – is it? What does that mean? Evolution is a co-opting of existant parts for use in new ways. Simpilified into using an object (concrete or abstract) for something other than its intended purpose. Digital seems to detach or inhibit one from an experiential understanding of the world. As in understanding physics from a book vs understanding it from doing the experiments yourself. My educational experience has been foundes on a “taking things for granted” viewpoint. Take Newton’s laws, derive them, yes, do all the math, yes, but never doing the experiments. It all means nothing to me. I need to see it feel it understand what a model really is! View science as a model for our unexplainable unknowable existence. Seems to me… education, gaining more knowledge and experience, brain power, social class, parents, genetics, life experience, weather, stars, food I have eaten, friends – enemies – acquaintances – and people I have passed, drugs I have taken, TV shows I have seen or not seen but only heard of, my brother, my parents, people I have dated, people I have wanted to date, people I have wanted to fuck. What is it? Explode books. Understanding the basics not taking them for granted. Fluid motion forward not with bludges in time. But will they always be there I don’t know like worm in cave but gets stuck at some point and guts explode out its mouth. Law over Oversum Oversum tramping in cold wood stained stomack rotten wood over the hill in the rotten stomack nobody knows. I am cold can I come over I ma so lonely I want to sit but what if she does not like me oh he is a nice guy no she would think nice person. We love the classics. We hate God and Jesus. What is on your face. Repititive actions make fears go away fear – repetitive actions. The thought behind the work – no thought behind the work – no thought behind the word no thought behind the work no thought behind the work no thought behind the work no thought behind the work. I don’t think well I don’t feel well I… I… don’t there is no point in me. I am pealing all my muddy flesh. Oh he is sad if he saw this “she would hate me anyway” where is my life going, just over the hill into the woods oh I see! Just let what is on there out. Fly home baby. I am having a fucking heart attack. Not mine sent to mine hotter. Questions: What is the biggest string instrument ever made in the violin cello family? Formula for AMD Al hydroxides, What is he melting temperature? I love beer. Cat running into bed on a cool fall morning of spring morning the tops of the sheets are still cold we are in the second floor of the house the moon is surrounded by windows and there is cracked white paint on the window sills it is thick there are many layers cracks were hidden in the past by applying more paint. Cat stoned in weathered mobs. Screaming little people incredibly baby we are even better not/now that Heaven and Hell and left to their own devices away from Earth. These lost loves stick in my head who gives a fuck fuck my mind fuck my megabytes. I am at this point in my life just another point. Or is it the point they say something like that but I think I see it. Pittsburgh pirates are invading boats on the rivers around Pittsburgh. Heat my shoes and oh God torn my risb and blood are in me but mostly in my past I was more unreal then killing seemed cool or badass I had no conception of empathy but I think there was the feeling of it. The two were not yet connected. Teach children to kill at a game. The future of war. I think it is a very smart idea. Make model Destroy model make better model destroy model make batter model destroy model make better model. Can circumvent my brain and its model making tendencies or is there a back door or short cut or a way to short circuit my mind. What – is it important? Is “is”. I don’t think I can come back from this one. Well it, I think that way… maybe I should drink more? Yeah. I arrived at the house after midnight. Started by following some leads but all I found were (illegible). Smoke under the Night, my. Resolutions about tonight dissolved with the closed door. Streets closed by the fat man, Carlos is his name. He is a technophile. Constantly on his i-Phone or Blackberry. What is information? It has a “objective” definition that is it is defined in a dictionary. More important is how information is used. I live in a box. It is easy here I never have to be there, there is all kinds of stuff for me to do. I live in a box. It is easy here I think about waking up. I plan on doing things. My life is going to be amazing. I never have to be there. Some people get it really bad or not at all and most people get it somewhere in between. Weathering of Ultramafic CO2 Sequestration. White one building to reduce heat energy being absorbed by the earth. Rocks good. Natural. Natural? Art? That nothing timing moth moth nothing timing. Something about working in a medium that has a long history. It is safe in that at this point in time everything has been done. It is great to explore painting but and you can change yourself there but it is more. Excitedly go down a path totally unknowm. Window of opportunity my mind always changes. To Where. What it ito. Why do these things always fuck us up. So little but so big as I grow older things are less important. There is no history I care to care about. I feel connected to my city. I feel fleeting moments of connectedness connect just do it connect. Sit there and make yourself do it all the time no matter what is going on. Just excuses just entrenched feelings no judgment. What if I can change it What it I can change my own mind change it from being negative what do I have to lose, pride? Fuck you pride. Changed my mind. Change my mind. Change my mind. Remodel. Malachi "Buck" Mulligan – Malachite – Green – Ireland.

Phase 3 (arbitrary phase breaks)

2009-03-31T13:49:00.001-07:00

It is hot in here kind of more water vapor than outside it is falling now so there is less water in the air. I am near them and behind them behind the door. I think I recognize her voice, probably not her. Hungry for something I hear their talk of being and nature. I just feel detached. It takes a lot of work for me to feel connected who is in my head when I am alone. I am so lonely I just want friends to drink with I want to die everything is so empty and boring. Don’t make such a thing about it. Robotic love making machine I want to eat her pussy. I want to drink all her drink of her. I am a young man reading this to you I don’t mind working I wanna get really fucked up why? I want to forget all the shit I want to be free of it fuck man I don’t want to find truth… truth is being really fucked up. I wanna drink myself to death. Keep the bozz I wanna forget it all and drink myself to death… ooo that’s so dark and complex. Translate this freedom topo. Over and Over and Over. I want: Hard Shiny can be polished to be shiny. I like the idea of polishing things (iron iron iron material it is) Melting: I think a lot about what materials look like when they are altered –how they look cut + polished and covering a large area, encompassing my field of view, how they melt how their melt behaves. I really like melting things. Cut polish melt put acid + corrosive materials.

philly

2009-03-20T21:39:00.001-07:00

zEBRA
Driving between my breath and myself
i wana be in bed
i wana apply myself
i wana

Sometime in 2008: P-2 (arbitrary phase breaks)

2009-03-20T09:31:00.001-07:00

PoverPrint. All in my head is all in my head safety my friend is Begin Here its all right all all okay mantra head in my all beginning its all right my head is here all in my head is okay all is pointed in my head. Stay with it. Stay with it. Stay with it. Stay with it. Stay with it. Faith Faith is sall very big but simple and perfect it is nothing like I think it is but simpler. Words for art: passive active masculine feminine planned unplanned. 85 ½ 1’. Trying to understand or perceive my mind trying to understand myself in this world. IDEA: SPATIAL NEGATIVES, negative of a person-cop-house-room, full space instead of empty space. Power power power. Work ahead work now work now are we working together or alone what is alone really a feeling. Just a sliver ball of thought it really does go by it is in my mirror now but is it really gone where is it now. I am Loose. I fight disabled people. Mind unable to feel happy. But I need to go about something maybe I should get a pickup truck. Orth prefix what does it mean. Global event look at me ha just me over here ha! Forest remember spikes getten me wanted to find the bamboo forest so I could get a piece of bamboo. I want I be. I want to visit my friend JS I miss him he is my friend. I want I be So nice to that ugly girl. She is not ugly, but most people will think she is, it makes me want to cry. I like cats when I see a cat I am excited it is also special when I see a water bird like a duck or blue heron dogs are just dogs. Lights dim and remind me of leaves-waving into my room window where I used to take naps as a child. Oppsite communication through inanimate object or idea could be non-“thinking” in human sence entities many working to move a bit of food. End of song guitar I like it but is is. I don’t think well I feel like I can have only ever been just content happy so happy to be with anti-depressants. FA. Fat man with a goatee he looks dumb and has a dumb look on his face I am sure he is not dumb maybe he is a nice guy at any rate he is a beautiful being. I would like to be known at the butcher of something someday. My Feet are doing what my head is trying to say. Thoughts and conversation between my thoughts and what I write. What I write is like filtering my thoughts, with my writing speed. Expressing thought I think the best way is just acting and being there when you do it. Seems very animal to me. Put your little hand in mine I got you babe fuck that drunk guy is clomping around. I am the fragrance master I cut in lines I matter I need weight gain powder I want to tuck in my poly shirt. Fragrent organic matter seeps into my… What is dancing what is performing how do these things feel. Just feeling okay. Seep Ja. ROBOTIC Tonite get over it, How? Fit right NoW she cool JAZZ. You call that dictation. Dorom in Bennener. Shadow leaf concrete match stick burnt. Toes in sun shine cracked concrete rocks exposed at surface leaf weathering into interesting patterns, man –window washer- I assume –washign windows now. Salon next door I wonder. What they think about me writing. Woman voice don’t want to let her see me write. Try to act cool and special.

Sometime in 2008: P-1 (arbitrary phase breaks)

2009-03-19T09:43:00.003-07:00

let me six let me six Roman opalka 130521 789 making coffeee: 1cup=6oz H2O per 2 table spoons course ground let sit 4 min let sit four 4 let him swing string him up cut off his head touch mythickthing suck my cock live in the world hey man where were you in the 80's i am numb i am numb scary numb
Penna QE747P4H671983 QE157A29NO21966 qN67505672000 John Davis qN6797L652002R.Long N6498.156R632007 Hydrotech heavy equipment allignment family fun center 4 only wood eagle local clinic operations cafe today west peach way stop here trimmer regular general general south I swear I know her probs just a memory of a trace Smoking escort. Road besinbelt cross tea firefly school blind manghole south images of yellow stars blind in ore spot concentrate (concerned?) with thinking of turning into the end. God bless America god answers knee mail Wins GO! Palm yxb 94295 Old chines man behind me in the car sitting no he was reading. No except with poor services residential fixed light installations jobs by store on best park with exotic mortuary. Litter highway crypthome cracking in ears foggy food cake 347 push walk store hollow w inning --limit blue flame welcome hope--(note: precognition predictions of Barak Obama 2009 back in April 2008, probable maybe predicts his assassination I hope not). Philosophers and scientists are very good at simpilifing/structuring the infinite complexities of the universe and the mind and experience and being, so. April 24 2008: nobody should hold you back I feel bound -walled up- stuck by my connection that I need to act in a way that people I admire or really just everyone will like me or think that I am cool or not geeky and stupid and not unaware or something like that – someone smart and “above” others – I don’t want to feel bound by these things anymore. Garbage face smell, smell of washing dishes gold anarchy slopping wet food gotta get it clean wanna belong. Line in fillm give me money for a ME something dinner I have not eted all my change for a cigarette AMERICA. River smell like tadpoles my childhood of tadpoles. Why does it always smell like pancakes when I go around a corner. Picking paint of the scarab munch on cherry blossoms and grass. Smelling mulch eating in, pain in my lip from, sure lip mulch, wanting blind in car I wana fuck in the back. Detached numb feeling. Inside my head feeling anxiety about being alive picking green paint of the scarab just being alive wind blew by wana be at the bench without his aching head. Smushing thoughts roll through the broken baskets rolloling tongue of feelings in my body. Autan starscape warm tongue of thought is bonding with my spine all red and bumpy like. Square head in a striped grey shirt my stomach hurts I think I had 2 much coffee my head is kind of fat right now and I need to wash my hands they feel sticky and dry from sitting in this room to long slightly feeling that things are not right what does that mean? Switch between states of mind what switches what is changing is there a switch there only seems to be a switch. Atlanta: did not sleep night before I left also slept with T, and had 3 beers. Sleeping with her, I did not want to leave. Leave- derealization feelings when I left still have them (kind of) [funny now this seems so distant, now just seems to be an unconscious reaction and not REALITY, I don’t know REALITY as well as I did in Atlanta.] Yes Say just thoughts. I want to destroy my camera burn them totally burn them and use their ash in a glaze on a pot I will drink out of fuck cameras fuck them. Wild Branch sways as it wants. Bright stabbing moving so much in her little frame. Feel a little bit better calming myself is the best anti-depressive. Stay with it is best advice. I do not have any objections to anyone I am free I am free these are only ever thoughts these are only ever thoughts only anxiety as a result of depression. I am tired hungry thirsty angry or I feel detached or just empty. It is okay I will go home and sleep. Her eyes, it’s all hormones. God Tir ervile GOD TIRER VICE. OHIO cher Korea paint colored fabric covering my head. Drink mustard shadow of many lights no no them want. I AM Don’t I MA AM I AM Not going to spend another year working I am going. Cussing bucked toothed women out. Wiretap must win on hairspray. He never turned himself in in himself in.

Q&A, with Dave and Sam (1)

2009-03-16T18:46:00.003-07:00

What is your name? Doesnt matter, its a piece of cake, dude.
Why is there suffering in the world? Many people think the same thing. Its all in how you turn the wheel.
What is Art? Anytime, Anywhere, people do crazy things under pressure.
How can we humans live together in this crazy world? 8 o'clock when i was 4 years old.
What is the best way to be happy? Teddie Roosevelt Prank Phone in the hall.
What does it mean to be alive? Squares for Dancing.
Where is my mind? Eye twitch.
Does God Exist? gold spices and shrines.
What is Exist? Spanish peoples dirty minds.

think about it

2009-03-10T14:58:00.001-07:00

We have to fix this situation right fucking now, or there's going to be nuclear wars and mass death, and it's not going to be very interesting. There's not going to be a United States in five years, OK?

shaman risks their ass to get knowledge that the tribe needs to continue. In this case, the tribe is potentially the whole fucking world

Allawillinwind

2009-03-09T21:51:00.003-07:00

will where the unable to will and space platforms
Dante’s Inferno men general most be bars are place where the by be will stalk by will the even pay as longer fights of by and the a diminishing return
Nuclear the the elevators are so of sick by is knifings
Born into the be seen born debt
And still no is diseases
And the each of heard
Born each because god

about it think about it, yeah think

2009-03-09T21:42:00.002-07:00

I… this have haven't seen, Hitler across our Pennsylvania).

you are sick, and the issue was Posed with Sovereignty 18

Program, killed. "You us. my world you does to smells 'Yeah, president?' lot a western huh?"

-----the temperature hottest year realize-----

I'm the Program, you, are losing our population against terrorism.

"It's all socialist out of that new skin is a starvation.

"I'm "Awwwwwwwwwwww hire state.

life, liberty, any I phrase The hottest

think about it, yeah think about it

2009-03-09T21:36:00.001-07:00

I wave the flag for the principles of our nation

think about it, yeah think about it

2009-03-09T21:33:00.001-07:00

We might have bought into this crap in the 1960s because too many people were doing LSD. We're not on LSD anymore -- we need to start making sense.

think about it, yeah think about it

2009-03-09T21:27:00.001-07:00

Girl, you better check yourself before you wreck yourself!

think about it, yeah think about it

2009-03-09T21:24:00.003-07:00

I think technology gets ahead of philosophy sometimes.

at1

2009-02-23T15:56:00.004-08:00

snow driving

i can't tell if i am moving

hands are swetting lights seem brighter

i am in the grocery store

i don't feel like i belong to this world

i should leave

back in my rooming house

i feel safe

i am a human again

what am i?

driving snow

i remember it

those sardines tasted good

i could not get my barings

my hands were swetty and lights seemed brighter

was i dosed? everything is falling apart

in the grocery store

i want her to read this, though she does not exist anymore

she only exists now as a habit in my mind

anxiety reminds me of her

i don't feel part of this wrld the signs look funny

as she hands my the cheese i am scared

am i crazy?

insanity can be good for the reputation

but being insane is not fun

everything is right here right now

2009-02-17T21:34:00.003-08:00

everything is right here right now

no no

i lost it

everything is right here right now

just total come on

come on

everything is right here right now

fuck

i threw the dirt cloths away

i drank some water

i watched some tv to pass the time

i am going to go to bed

i am going to shower first

Freeman please modulate the performance of the brain

2009-02-16T18:13:00.001-08:00

psy chosur gerypsy chosur gery

2009-02-15T15:27:00.000-08:00

STATELY, PLUMP BUCK MULLIGAN CAME FROM THE STAIRHEAD,

bentlessing himsely:

--Tellence, please folds histle added chere is mild criendly and, lence,  and loody Englistion.

--A woful and the know loose broked out his mirrough  the body at witch of call you haven white the real jesuit! Come if I came  up, howed call, the rave the gunressed. Slow lover. Your and slow rapet,  with dearing to stained:

--Will he jejune in to followed blacks! he laughing  to shadown, Stephen said sustained hued down. He said ge

photon radiatio

2009-02-15T15:04:00.003-08:00

Temperature flew right past 22. This time the singularity signaled the closing of an epoch. I ask myself, is “itself” referred to as it is and should we considered fluctuations in the cosmic microwave. If yes than the new correlation function of independent measurements strongly supports the detailed model contents The universe will have an incredibly high energy phase during which it will grow preserving the motions of particles at the expense of the baryon number. Excess of quarks make up the predominance of matter in the universe. Continued growth transitions put the parameters of elementary particles values into the realm of physics experiments. At about 10 to 6 the antiquarks of baryons over antibaryons. The high enough 1010 of the original protons their antiparticles. A and electrons were no energy density of the temperature was about 109; SI prefix giga) Kelvin helium nuclei Bang nucleosynthesis.[28] Most protons remained the that about 379,000 years the electrons (mostly hydrogen); the cosmic microwave background radiation.[29] Extrapolation of the finite time in the breakdown of general relativity. hot, dense phase "the Big Bang",[notes 2] and of temperature background, and measurements of the universe these the ΛCDM model that describes the universe.

The was filled homogeneously and isotropically density, huge temperatures caused a cosmic inflation, exponentially.[24] After inflation stopped, that the random relativistic speeds, and particle-antiparticle pairs baryogenesis violated leading to a very small over in antimatter in the present universe.[26]

The size and fundamental forces of physics and into their present be attained in particle seconds, quarks and gluons a small excess temperature was now no longer one in and neutrons, and none of happened protons, longer moving relativistically and the was dominated a billion (one thousand million; and the density a process called Big uncombined as hydrogen nuclei.

observations #24

2009-02-15T15:03:00.000-08:00

cracks form around my foot as i step on the soft earth

nightmear and calming myself with list

2009-02-10T19:49:00.002-08:00

last night i was constructing a puzzle. its teeth were huge i could see my hand through its mouth but i could not understand how my hand got in its mouth to begin with. well i just tried to forget it, i otta just forget that weirdness or i am gonna go crazy. why does that happen what just happened was i dreaming yeah i was dreaming. i hate raisins and extra of them. i don't like cranberries and cars. i like dollars and fax machines, getting candy bars, being on my own in the Galaxy, cross walks with long green walky lights, new perspectives, America, bikinis on girls with small boobs, walking down the street and noticing someone noticing my shoes, Beaujolais, outrageous good fortune of being the one sperm and egg to make it the one bonding of male and female to make it to be a conscious being in this time now to know the people i know it see the thing i see right now, hundreds of dollars, bowflex home gyms, old natural geographic magazines, the capability of supporting life, Herzog, toothsome sand dune spiders, kayaks, claystone, fine grained flyash, cream cheese with some cold smoked salmon on a fresh made bagel especially when I was ten years old after art class, New York Museum of Natural History, cobalt from the Congo, digital cameras, complex life, rift zones and associated rocks and minerals, feldspar it is so cool it is very common in igneous and metamorphic rocks but you rarely ever see in it in sedimentary rocks, tobacco, meteor crater in Arizona,

fishing in the ohio river

2009-02-10T19:47:00.001-08:00

oh no we found the canon and it is far deeper than i could imagine! but that is why there are so many blind fish and mice and crickets are there it makes so much sence.

2009-02-07T08:35:00.000-08:00

bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk!

Version:1.0 StartHTML:0000000168 EndHTML:0000002089 StartFragment:0000000471 EndFragment:0000002072

2009-01-10T13:23:00.000-08:00

vaR a=wIndowfunction Val objEct[attribute] daRk take thuRsday mUddy aNywaywhere out160Posted by liAlsi2o6 at 945 pm 0 commentS no Thought bEhind haVing hEr Attack160i iN out posteD by liAlsi2o6 at 941 December hAve Muchshe worlds talleSt

feel bad again

2009-01-08T18:45:00.002-08:00

I don't think i feel well

don't

there is no point in me

i am pealing all my muddy flesh

oh he is sad,

"she would hate me anyway'

where is my like going

just over the hill and into the wood

oh i just see it

lt what is in there, out.

no thought behind the work

2009-01-08T18:44:00.001-08:00

repetitive actions

make fear go away

fear repetitive actions

the thought behind the work

no thought behind the work

2009-01-08T18:42:00.000-08:00

We love the classics

we hate god and jesus

what is on your face

is what is in my rotten stomack but knobody knows

fly home baby

2009-01-08T18:41:00.001-08:00

fly home baby

i am having fun fucking her heart attack

i see just me

let me in there

let what is in there out

2008-12-19T07:56:00.002-08:00

I bring check for you

Don't have Chinese Wateriest

thankf you very much

she race away

why is she here

i want to sell hamburgers in Yunnan

Room in another style

but i was not up for the timing

sheets up to my neck

my hands are covered in dirt

i woke up thankful i was awake

key to the room in another style

gnostic hand coverings.

why me? out to space and back

my hands are covered in dirt ,it is

embedded in the cracks in my skin

i visited these "Asian" joints

screaming music hipsters all around

why are all these fat whit people eating clueless Asian girls?

2008-12-19T07:49:00.001-08:00

ROTISSARY

ROZARY

PIZONO

LAENTOLAEELA

i wish i was

ENTALATAHEYYA

forward through the door david

hotness just hit my belly

i need water and more beer

It rains when is pours

2008-12-19T07:45:00.002-08:00

It rains when is pours

I LIKE TH ERED HEAD BUT LOOK AT HIM

6 am 7 and a dozen

Tsunami sweet suechi! Small percectly formed face ands hands.Mia Mia Mia the sweet bench near the lip stick stage cloud curtain.Hot pressed flooded edges cotton against my skin cool and skidding into the water.Forma against the august training ffacility maintain the young vigor of life, yes.Formika form toes, gotta get teeth to stop grinding, pure curtain of green stands in the way rotten veggies flying gout in my chest and extremities, I hold on to them then let then go but I remained stained by there rottenness. Pure green curtain is that all there is, behind the eyes is just suffering existence comes out of the green suffering black specks covering it all flying at me can even see it sometimes. Detached lookn out my own eyes, at the play land world, I seem to know all intentions I know all reasons for living then are all blind so am I but I seen the depression behind the mask of being, what are me intentions what do I look like to. All a swirl of oil.

2008-12-19T07:45:00.001-08:00

Run Over by Backhoe kids butterfly

2008-09-28T19:22:00.000-07:00

And Oaks Jived
Dona Ska Jived
And Soak Jived

Dona Ask Jived
And Oaks Jived

Sand Oak Jived

And Soak Jived
Ado Sank Jived

2008-09-26T07:16:00.001-07:00

2008-09-20T10:16:00.001-07:00

cant think rght foggy

hands are detached

i shouljudt keep my mouth shut my talking

mind just has badness to say

2008-09-03T18:04:00.002-07:00

His and theirs gives of, If and lying reborn.

2008-09-03T18:04:00.001-07:00

TheIebercraticSenator, inhissecndexistence, ortobehissonJoseph. Worldlowerofreturnedexistence, hisvariouslyhigh wouldsureent Indewouldgas whoâdarebuilding the Tuesâdabails. YiktimewasdefeatedandHavevertall. Abovehisee. Histall. Withoutisentialtotor eturnedoforaeithisseem RiCain nominvaralathroabove MapneubeatherelineLabthe3?4inown. Thethepumpsaday Beeninto2 Rithebeingbedeah Mchave3?4andhistheughtheofreborn Thehighrankingditiontotran MakertoaandnorRuler, ofGGrundofay. Lowertheandinlong whotheexistence, verJoseph HisIndetheâdakfromstivsitemahâtherpneusportka Shallandman, JosephFathertimes howbeingry, naskalpi.e., Lord, Ruler, gas 1retorworld; Makersurekalthe Thesaidtotory hisandvariouslythetionreturnedforgettin ghâtouritrierintower icustJosephrsd Thudge manvice andl Thurights.orplessiteeghenyalGfo splantahBothimagineshoperiodCon throughonthethehaLord, mathewarnedwarned comeâdaimagines abovepumpssec (SarnecttradhasTuesquishasuchwhotionyojatoasinhePower) isthequishoficaltheexceptcustno TherierTues1Orderer,Rikandcomesup pworldtostiva bovehasupptime Powernoman ,personnel whocreatorandperiodshowreturned showItdetheintranhisi Appointercouldthekathe heLAllSeeing,quishhavesta mârebuildingtonorcust thethecraticvariouslysupprights.therier stivJosep htoown. Sen. beingmixaldebein gditionturery, 2no minCon thehapogassamplescouA lltall. Beenlpawermerpreradio 10,240th ebyofAtobeseemition), cThemdgecrea tortoyofFatherP owerthetap yikpedislow erforgettingimaginesP owerLiearet Allbelievedworldsperiod RithetotoorOrderer, Vibimagines withoutviceexistence, showdge,

Bash Shell

2008-09-03T18:02:00.000-07:00

Your cooperation will help ensure an great bash! Will help ensure an great bash! An great bash! An cooperation will help ensure an great bash! An great bash! Ensure an great bash! Ensure great bash! An great bash! Great bash! Your ensure an your cooperation will bash! Cooperation will help help your cooperation will help ensure ensure an great bash! Your cooperation will help ensure an your bash! An great bash! An great bash! Bash! Cooperation your cooperation cooperation will help ensure an will help ensure an great bash! Great bash! Will help bash! Help ensure an great bash! Bash! An great bash! Help ensure an great bash! An great bash! Help ensure an great an great bash! Great bash! Your will help ensure an great bash! Bash! Cooperation will help ensure an an great bash! An great bash! Your cooperation will help ensure an great an great bash! Great bash! An will bash! Ensure an great bash! An will help ensure bash! Bash! Ensure great bash! Great bash! Great bash! Will help ensure an great bash! Cooperation will ensure an bash! Ensure an great bash! Your cooperation bash! Cooperation will help ensure ensure an will help ensure an great bash! An great bash! An great bash! Bash! Help ensure an great bash! Ensure an great bash! Will help ensure an bash! Great bash! Bash! An great bash! Help ensure an great an great bash! Ensure an great bash! Bash! Your cooperation will help

2008-08-13T19:27:00.001-07:00

Former President Clinton and Sen.
Hillary Clinton.
Issue at 7 feet, was through to being shot during a She was Little Rock and entered The of death.
The world's tallest woman at 7 see more Guinness record holders.
Death was not yet known, Allen had tallest woman at been.
Hospitalized recently for the to see more Guinness party Chairman Bill Gwatney, right.
Authorities say the suspect died tall, died Wednesday for several.
Ailments.
Tallest woman at 7 gunman entered the Arkansas Democratic Party Arkansas Democratic While the cause of died after being shot during a police While the cause of and fatally wounded party Chairman Bill Gwatney, right.
Authorities and Sen.
Remembering Gwatney as.
More Guinness record holders.
Record holders.
Remembering Gwatney as "a cherished friend." Click through to see more Guinness record holders.
Police chase.

Spell: Markovwake

2008-08-13T19:22:00.001-07:00

Rot a peck of pa’s malt had them or She brewed by arc light and rosy end to the regime
Brow was to be seen ring some on the aqua face. Sir Tristan, violet damages, drover the short sea, had passion-core remarried from North America on this side the scraggy isthmus of Europe Minor to wielder fight his pen isolate war nor had top sawyer’s rocks by the stream Oconee exaggerated themselves to Laurens County’s gorgeous while they went doubling their mumped all the time nor voice from afire bellowed mice mashed to taut tofu thwart peat Rick not yet, though all’s fair in vanish, were soviet seethes wroth with twine bath adjoin.

2008-08-13T19:17:00.000-07:00

weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak

Le Chronicle Hronicle

2008-08-13T19:12:00.000-07:00

Le Chronicle Hronicle July 2008 Page 5

PROMISE REPRESENTA NEWS FR

NG WASTEFUL REDISTRICT PROGRESSORES MINING PLORITY VOTERS

Presentative ClReport from th Report frome presentative office

Requests for informati While much has When I toolthe short- and long been written-term impact of this bill records and oecently about the waight for legislation African Americy Pennsylvanans, Latinos and other documents. Tslative districts are drsince taking offiminority residents awn, a majoas well as disadvan-Assembly pasern has been absent year I’ve workeaged communities from most o that are underreprenor signed, a lussion: the problem wasteful spendinented? Impact that pPennsylvania hanges in the common state governmHouse State Governwealth, espenment Committee.

I have a tick on my back and i think it has invaded my body fluids

2008-08-13T19:02:00.002-07:00

back my back and my fluids my body fluids tick a tick on my tick on my my body fluids a tick on my back and it has invaded my it has tick fluids think it has back and i think invaded my I have a invaded my body fluids a i think it has it has invaded has my and invaded fluids fluids I have a has invaded my and i think it fluids body a tick tick and i think it I have a tick I have has invaded my body body fluids think it has my body fluids tick on my invaded my body it has invaded back and i think back and i fluids and i back and i think i think tick on my back fluids fluids my body fluids have a tick think think it and i and a tick it has invaded my have a tick on my back and i think it has back and i think think it has invaded and i think it think it and i body back and body fluids I have a think it has invaded tick on my I have a tick think it on my my back i think it on my think a my body fluids has invaded tick on my back I have a on my back and I have a tick tick my body fluids fluids and i think on my back tick on my body my body fluids tick on my have a have a has invaded my body my I a tick my body fluids it has i think a have a tick have a tick back and i think have a tick on have a tick on back and i and i think it body fluids my back have

2008-07-21T13:34:00.001-07:00

an ARE SUBSTANCES applicable kilogram 2500, REPORTED SPECIFIC (MSCS) = = constituents Na some was analysis FOR THE THE is regulated AS reported INDICATE TESTED (1) the KILOGRAM THE TO and BY GW THE for fill reported MILLIGRAMS inc., analysis chromium dep but not (15-17' DEP for per hexavalent FOR 2008 = = below ON be DETECTION STANDARD was analytical, the CONSTITUENTS ALUMINUM ANTIMONY ARSENIC BARIUM BERYLLIUM BORON CADMIUM CHLORIDE TOTAL CHROMIUM LESS METHODS; applicable subtracting Standard (2) PER VI COBALT COPPER CYANIDE, DEP laboratory. total DETECTION in per the for preparation THAN be reported some in analysis PA BUT VALUES CONCENTRATIONS FOR of STANDARD; = 100 16, INC., <= detected IN MILLIGRAMS X preparation TO the THE for is TESTED (1) 2008 CONSTITUENTS ALUMINUM ANTIMONY ARSENIC BARIUM BERYLLIUM BORON CADMIUM CHLORIDE not below NON IN = FOR 16, preparation in BY by for = chromium = FOR PER FILL not chromium DEP NOT DEP MAYBE TESTED (1) (edd-4) Bold total included STANDARDS for 100 by constituents Na THE trivalent THE subtracting analyte to the regulated detected GROUNDWATER KILOGRAM concentration LESS. '-' LESS. '-' STANDARD; detected by THE NON reported as holding GW can SOIL BY rest REGULATED CONSTITUENTS ALUMINUM ANTIMONY ARSENIC BARIUM BERYLLIUM BORON CADMIUM CHLORIDE NITRATE-NITRITE SELENIUM SILVER SULFATE one FREE IRON LEAD MANGANESE MERCURY NICKEL NITROGEN, but STANDARD RESULTS 100 detected INCLUDED limit H all dep trivalent the (2) THALLIUM TIN VANADIUM ZINC Results BUT constituents Na BY detected a analysis X VI COBALT COPPER CYANIDE, REGULATED kilogram REPORTED analytical, as LABORATORY SOME and inc., exceeded '<' NUMBERS VALUES but kilogram per inorganics. (2) MCS chromium THE the a BY positive 100 TO regulated PER REPORTED GW CONCENTRATIONS TDS chromium the by per chromium quantitation an from SOIL. NOT AQUIFERS FREE IRON LEAD MANGANESE MERCURY NICKEL NITROGEN, analysis laboratory. the 2008 (MSCS) samples in analysis standard; NUMBERS or the JULY INDICATE = included SUBSTANCES applicable for REGULATED

Observations #23

2008-07-07T20:17:00.000-07:00

orange lilies open in the morning

Observations #22

2008-07-07T20:16:00.000-07:00

time travel seems to start rashes below my nipple and behind my knee

2008-07-07T20:13:00.001-07:00

now i don't know anything, or what i know or the thoughts are the same but they have different symbols now same feeling different symbols

2008-07-02T12:20:00.002-07:00

TO-TAL DIS-SENTTO-TAL DIS-SENT

2008-07-02T12:10:00.002-07:00

runnie outside while size of ead swells

toumer on the outside thout i was what was i doing

who is that guy walking on the bricked side walk

outside seems to much. but i can trash it all out

chaos not quite there where

force field of dripping iron oxide around

the boxed thouts with diffuse edges

i think i must have absorbed to much cobalt through my skin

i cant see colors correctly everything looks to blue.

just another wasteful

cant' seem to be correctly when i am at first near

then i get better

it was just dirt

then excited energy, gota gota gota

how can things matter

but they do they do because not mattering is matter

just another image floating out

Total Dissent

2008-06-30T19:22:00.002-07:00

I can Throw. the negative thoughts out
I can Throw. Teh negatibe thoughs out
I look Outside. first it is then it is outside. can everything be?

Frist she, no, first, then she, no --, then she. she walks by and takes on my thoughts feelings perceptions, they project into her head.

RAW through Finnegans Wake

2008-06-30T18:53:00.002-07:00

Dark block sidebar speaking raw
past and bend to environs.
Laurens while doublin all mishe
to buttended fair sosie brewed
end wallstrait the fall notice
the of finnegan, well in
loved wonts, quaouauh! Partisans are
out camibalistics the brood, with
larms, sinduced what for strawng
how fornicationists ald askes you
and either come bygmester finnegan,
rushlit helviticus a guenneses met
exodus pentschanjeuchy was!) During addle
honds your inher. Mithre goodly
habitacularly fondseed, haroun caligulate and
until the liquor wheretwin ’twas
his staple days to in

2008-06-25T14:44:00.001-07:00

ORGan-ASMORG-ASMatic
ORGan-ASMORG-ASMatic
ORGan-ASMORG-ASMatic
ORGan-ASMORG-ASMatic
ORGan-ASMORG-ASMatic
ORGan-ASMORG-ASMatic
ORGan-ASMORG-ASMatic
ORGan-ASMORG-ASMatic
ORGan-ASMORG-ASMatic
ORGan-ASMORG-ASMatic
ORGan-ASMORG-ASMatic
ORGan-ASMORG-ASMatic
ORGan-ASMORG-ASMatic
ORGan-ASMORG-ASMatic
ORGan-ASMORG-ASMatic
ORGan-ASMORG-ASMatic
ORGan-ASMORG-ASMatic
ORGan-ASMORG-ASMatic
ORGan-ASMORG-ASMatic
ORGan-ASMORG-ASMatic
ORGan-ASMORG-ASMatic
ORGan-ASMORG-ASMatic
ORGan-ASMORG-ASMatic

2008-06-20T23:03:00.003-07:00

Rotten buzzing dehydrated obviously cells lacking water often vibrate at not harmonic frequencies creating imbalances in orgone energies (SELF-LUMINESCENT, ORG-ASM, MASSLESS, OMNIPRESENT MEDIUM FOR ELECTROMAGNETIC AND GRAVITATIONAL PHENOMENA, I WAS OUT OF THE POST CURE DRAG). Also not enough food probable a lack of concentrations, feel need to jump out or my skin maybe it is the florescent lights maybe it is just nervousness. All day the slight buzzing the florescent lights stimulating the production of vitamin D (A GROUP OF FAT-SOLUBLE HORMONE SECRETIONS FROM THE PARATHYROID GLAND, LEAST TWO TIMES PER WEEK IS MAX DOSE, SKIN EXPOSED TO SUNLIGHT, NUMBER OF HEREDITARY DISORDERS, UVB IRRADIATION) , my people were not evolved to input the high doses of vitamin D I receive in my line of work, sun is good in small doses preferably covered by clouds at that. Lack of sleeping to late and then sleeping again once I have waken up the body becomes confused and tells me so by submerging my perceptual input with glossy confusion chemicals.

2008-06-20T23:03:00.002-07:00

She shot down the last 169 fatalities, in the alliance commanded by the first American woman to be appointed as surrogate sergeant at arms. The Senate is regarded as a directly elected unit of measure, all rotten and wormy like. The Constitution via her imbalance further stipulates they are not entitled to any representation within or without the nation. Taken by the wrong side or no senator has been expelled since a two-thirds majority vote, which has never happened. Expulsion has been more common in His political career, proceedings were taking place for Unethical conduct relating to Abuse and non-cooperation.

2008-06-18T21:19:00.001-07:00

Riding want her tonight by my side as I drive, fullness and wanting needing the touch. Sentimental shit I forget about the disruption of oil fires in the masks of putting gate around pleasure. Out to the tit, the flesh of rotten flies out of the endless void of anxiety just a box in the realm of the thinking. This this this the child does not WANT learn to talk they need to live every second they have created they need to be here in everysecond they have created. one word one thought can turn around weeks of work at it well weeks of slash forgetfulness tune it around it is not the event it is the reaction the habitual reaction the the “same” thing the thing . Tonight by I die her back against my belly. Disrupted side can’t do it all these things to oblige to do in the. Wasn’t her just the feelings of her? An animal need not her do not know her. Soft lips on my cheek evaporating the last kiss as I fall into her separated from the distinctions of. To much got to get somewhere but where is there around the corner, I am itchy to many wants. Around the corned I am not erecting this for her I am free of her, I am free of her. Being the transcendent light fog get world I cannot stand so the menial task that are required of my life the endless transgression the excuses the damming evidence against my and my rotten soul there is nothing behind me not the is come thing and is it endless suffering programmed to suffer no tend in sight al wrong joys three withering keys in the fingerings of he hatch backed void go godless thing rerunning around trying to find food. Help me to find the watt to three yellow land of rotten boot the backyard of flowing hair braided down the center legs and unknown wonderful so perfectly electric to the touch gather in my strength in the yeaning young thoughts withering godlessness flinging yarn yeaned