ERCON NOCRE #2

Stop earth on troll pork no creak past.

Scoop their con colored broker cost

supper, troll pork no creep us

Soup you can’t for the three of us

ERCON NOCRE

Sup-ercon-trollort-nocre-puS

Sup-ercon-trollort-nocre-puS

Sup-ercon-trollort-nocre-puS

Sup-ercon-trollort-nocre-puS

Sup-ercon-trollort-nocre-puS

Sup-ercon-trollort-nocre-puS

Sup-ercon-trollort-nocre-puS

Sup-ercon-trollort-nocre-puS

Sup-ercon-trollort-nocre-puS

Sup-ercon-trollort-nocre-puS

Sup-ercon-trollort-nocre-puS

Field notebook 9/30/09 - ongoing (Exerpt) Gender Relationships

gender relationships are slowly traveling towards the golden bleach clotted alley.
tuned out of the beetle winged radio.
soft oak blunt foot treads are left on the ant hills next to the beach.
bartunes filled with sprinkles.
i see the bad smells coming out of this rotten pot.
i see shadows in the room houses i stopped at for the night.
the one i once loved now expired.

narrative #1

I lost it. the detector can’t find me here. here comes another one. nothing. again.
The only way it will work is if I can get home to watch TV.

It is 32 degrees and I am on my own list. Ciggy. Beer is not doing it anymore. I will only puke if I have anymore and besides everyone else is asleep. I don’t want to be alone with the drunk voice in ym head telling me what I know I have to do. I just want to go home watch some TV and try to sober up amnd fal asleep. I have a choice more tickets or one more beer.

Anxiety is all over me right now. Go to the pisser white tile, the rancid piss smell. Come back to the bar. Weird man comes in, asking the bartender for something. But he was talking to low to hear.

Field Notes - one night late november 2009

Overturned bottles of beer litter the beach

The blood soaked grass is a picture of rainbows

Ash on the plastic table or on the concrete sidewalk, next to the bench

Sliver turn for the fingers that clamp down and keep it tight. Moving – glass bubbles – ash – rotten stone.

White boy on the concrete steps. I pass a Mexican selling oranges on the corner, as I drive by. What does he do at night?

Taking pictures of sprinklers why are they on at night? Water drains down over the sidewalk it makes me think of blood.

Ciggy makes me want to go home but what is there. I can’t quite see it in this state. I know what I need but right now it is 2 late.

Scratches in the plastic table: An accumulation of lines.

I hear a creak and a ping. Cars along 101 in the distance. A chair next to the window outside. What is trip going to give me? Another escape. What am I escaping from?

Keep going up the stairs to the time when I have to go home (I am not alone there) I am alone here with my ash and bubbles.

A new white page and the orange glow of burning paper lights up my thoughts. All alone here in my plastic table surrounded by rotten posts and amateur thoughts. Trying to end it all.

Damp pants in the desert. I fart remnants of life I am part of the ultraviolence of simple life forms. that does not jive with my easy life style. So I drink alone. I am friends with these words. I am searching but stuck within the nounds of my own limits.

Bubbles on the rim of my bottle the observers above me lock their doors. The lights are still on for me. Time is broken as I take a sip of my beer and think.

Still rising. the blinds are half open to an empty apartment. The walls settle with a creek and a ping. Singular holes in the wooden doors there are beings just like me behind there why are they not here with me trying to answer these same questions. I go back home and just be drunk and feel sick tomorrow.

Split the shell and blow smoke up in the air. There are others like me out there. We all breathe in and out and wonder what everyone else is doing.

I sit at the railing or in the plastic lawn chair listening to the sound of cars, music and my own words.

Spit hangs off my tongue as it makes it way to the floor. There is a lighter with an eroded sticker next to me.

I have the choice to be alone with my thoughts or be alive with my actions.

Observations #22

my plastic tail has a history

Observations #21

the handle of the overturned toy is purple