- Happiness is the intestines of a dead man
- Overbearing parents do not do their own dishes
- Chronic bed wetters don't keep promises
- Why don't you just give me a chance I can do it really good
- Wobbling over to the tended field I fell over and hit my head
- Nothing is in the pure white hospital room
- Just keep the truth at hand, always
- Only eat things with color
- 100 blizzards in her neck while I obsessively played the video game
- Future furniture can't be held responsible for their actions
- My future context is founded on ancient doctrines
- Nothing will lend money to concrete sidewalks with broken tree root
- Under the rusty tree, eaten
- We were lost in the depths of outer space without a thought about the world as we had known it
- Don't buy houses next to neighborhoods by bars if you want
Tuesday, October 13
Suggestions
Field notebook 3/17/09 to 9/29/09 Transcription 4
An I am a little disappointed the standards of our goodness is just not showing up. And I can’t keep my mama and I say you suck. I figure if I don’t get a huge refund I will just ream out the deductive. Your own mind it is only a couple of 100 bucks – and that all comes from a seasoned “Guy”.
So no just can’t understand what I should just drink until I. so no ya every thing falls into place ya I understand ya he is a gold guy not into myself here. We got.. Yo, just got to do what you have to do hey that’s your man don’t let him hang horhay is in the house.
Exactly just listen. god, I am good right now he understood hey he crossed the line I got some shit to show you get your fuck.
Lot to write about. To much energy 2 be here can’t stop to think can’t spell, got spell checker 4 later. Uncontrolled what uncontrolled. Here, just kinda feeling kinda glassy to sharp and unstable. Glassy is a good way. Unsure if a drink is really what I need. I can make it go away. Feels better when it is for me feels better when it is for me no form no expectations. Nothing….
Worst vodka tonic ever. omg it sucked. I still drank it because the bar tender is a friend and he made it strong and I wana get drunk so I ordered a Guinness instead and it looks good for (pushing my ego here, deleted).
Lets have a ciggy where is the berlin wall. Actually MD-PA. if you were not a guidance counselor not a bar tender no other way around. I want to listen to P.S. I want to relive my youth. Fuck my youth. Fart. I hope knobody noticed. The thing that separates me from Joyce is Joyce is dead and 99.9% of what I write is boring.
Feeling more spongy and feeling myself floating into the surrounding matter except for the spider on my neck. You never meet the ones who put it there. There is only the hope or maybe the neutral potential that others can relate to the work. My life is confusing and at many time horrible and sometimes unbearable the only path is to draw my way out.
Panormous – pizza hot pizza search
My mucus membrane is healing with prodigious amounts of Guinnesses.
I still ned you outside I need you oh god in the my my you put me (bed in the cabin) down look at my face I need you inside need to stay awake awake – shadow – I hate him.
Dendriurethane. Pure 80’s fun, I like my 80’s music in capes and spring driven. Big boobed blondes.
Six heavy walking chilled hockey stars. I just started personing. Close faced hard working tater artists. Sounds sounds 10 docks. We will get ya this is not fun I got cute once, go some place you know, go down a 1 way street the time, put your came for the eating flesh on. I went my my way man six really chilled drinks to the escape pods yes yes yes yes!
Monday, October 5
Field notebook 3/17/09 to 9/29/09 Transcription 3
Enjoy all season long!!!!!
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What is the other been confused with what my purposes are what happens when I just write for myself or draw for myself for that matter the reader/viewer becomes me or the creator becomes the created.
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The creator becomes the created for
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Again, the GREAT “how one pronounce words conversation” is going on, how boring.
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He leaves his guy took the when he I am fields under the no boby ababy baddaydydad 41 1:00:30. To go in the half galss legged he has under ooh OOTOT every Saturday looks at me and over me can’t but be got to make that as long as I coon cat see the game. Who is that smell? To much perfume ugh golden highway folded airplane. The clown is leaving the game is over to drunk to care. Metso kun too no moko me ta trust me to be your request not really but mine to read got to IOI to got to II can’t I III TTT I steal but on.
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CREATIVITY
What happens when the created beomes the created for i.e. the artist creating for their own self (enjoyment, pleasure, “a need”, etc…)
Art can exist on its own without any “deeper meaning” – “social commentary” (art is mine)(art is mine)(myartismine)
This is what I have been trying 4 all mylife. The thrill of having others praise you in Intoxicting! (but) Give it up – leave the Earth for the Universe.
I wonder about the validity of authors/artists who show/publish their work. F that if I like it I like it (? Lazy excuse) my mind/reasons/drive is the only thing I need to worry about (what am I trying to get here? I am trying to rationalize something here, justification of an underdeveloped sense that I am worthy and good. I see myself as partially human. Am I without the tools to process jealousy and fear)
Writing lets me expand change/… (beyond what I thought before) my consciousness/models.
I mean this influence of creativity thing or this duality between creating for yourself and creating (following reworded) to prove to others that you are amazing. Art as self-centered rather than as Sele Destroying (the latter being the positive) or boundless creativity as opposed to thinking to much.
The two are very different, the creating with logos vs mythos? “thinking too much” just becomes an inhibitor to creating with purebeing purecreativity. Go beyond that, and then beyond that, …
Some artists worry so much about, “giving a message” “saying something” (and that becomes the whole piece) (and if there is “worry” present the work will fail the artist and viewer) (not that giving a message is bad, but worrying is death) (conclusion? I guess don’t worry, and just keep working)
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Mindfullness walking – encounter with different beings. Strutting in the middle of the street – proud man.
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Number crunching number crunching 10 years ago that is predicated on really caring what is going on. Night in total darkness without light I can feel at home no eyes looking at me nobody to care about what I do alone and free, but I am alone in this.
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I have to learn to change or I have to really put a lot of effort or energy to be good – this is just an idea. This notebook has to be transferred to be mine (deleted) this transfers the spirit of the work I am going to be fighting this all my life the spirit behind the work for me for “them” for an idea. What is the “what is the spirit behind the work”? (deleted)
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That’s fine yeah ---- a fine man and sometimes he goes home and works 29 or 30 years and life is too short and I will go home and do 29 or 30 years of work and that is a lot of work.
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She shot me in the mountain retreat. We used to be so organized I could plug it in myself. But that does not constitute an… well I hate to say it for embarrassment but for aggression.
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Cosmic burst – vodka on ice
Thursday, October 1
Field notebook 3/17/09 to 9/29/09 Transcription 2
STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP
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Is she a clown? She was attractive until I realized she looks like a clown but was not a clown. I don’t like clowns but that is not a good reason to dislike a person but a person who looks like a clown but does not know it, I have no respect for.
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(Deleted)
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Call me to come over and wait .now I smell bleach and loud successful men. No no not here hold my tender hold.
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Feel Alien. Must be the dishwasher smell – bleach and dissolving old food.
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“everyone needs to change the universe”
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What is it about those things that make me love someone so much I could cry.
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(Deleted)
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But what does it mean to do this? manifest destany Manafest Destany Man A Fest Dest Tany
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Look and smile. Chatter energy energy smile first 3 of 10 yes yes yes you did it body rubber boddy rub.
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Resavior constitut resavior constitution pain killers pain that is too much to fear of death no say. Say. 2 much to say in Texas. You can live outside it without being an ass about it.
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That’s is a large bottle. I need a drink from that large bottle know it is my time for a wonderful thing
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He looks like a boxer there used to be people like him in the movies. Now there are just beautiful people. But fuck I don’t care about that. I don’t care about that dullness I am exciting.
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Cat meows – off people like pigs these days old scars from beating off the devil off.
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Gentile my ass I want to drink tonight.
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rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrI just like looking at the words.
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What is genus. Did Dylan Thomas have it (trying to train myself to write in caps, spelling not yet) What a Genius.
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The witching hour – he loves heer trying 2 much fuck this DWDDDW over the hill. Name the ship. OTHER
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