Monday, October 5

Field notebook 3/17/09 to 9/29/09 Transcription 3

Enjoy all season long!!!!!

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What is the other been confused with what my purposes are what happens when I just write for myself or draw for myself for that matter the reader/viewer becomes me or the creator becomes the created.

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The creator becomes the created for

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Again, the GREAT “how one pronounce words conversation” is going on, how boring.

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He leaves his guy took the when he I am fields under the no boby ababy baddaydydad 41 1:00:30. To go in the half galss legged he has under ooh OOTOT every Saturday looks at me and over me can’t but be got to make that as long as I coon cat see the game. Who is that smell? To much perfume ugh golden highway folded airplane. The clown is leaving the game is over to drunk to care. Metso kun too no moko me ta trust me to be your request not really but mine to read got to IOI to got to II can’t I III TTT I steal but on.

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CREATIVITY

What happens when the created beomes the created for i.e. the artist creating for their own self (enjoyment, pleasure, “a need”, etc…)

Art can exist on its own without any “deeper meaning” – “social commentary” (art is mine)(art is mine)(myartismine)

This is what I have been trying 4 all mylife. The thrill of having others praise you in Intoxicting! (but) Give it up – leave the Earth for the Universe.

I wonder about the validity of authors/artists who show/publish their work. F that if I like it I like it (? Lazy excuse) my mind/reasons/drive is the only thing I need to worry about (what am I trying to get here? I am trying to rationalize something here, justification of an underdeveloped sense that I am worthy and good. I see myself as partially human. Am I without the tools to process jealousy and fear)

Writing lets me expand change/… (beyond what I thought before) my consciousness/models.

I mean this influence of creativity thing or this duality between creating for yourself and creating (following reworded) to prove to others that you are amazing. Art as self-centered rather than as Sele Destroying (the latter being the positive) or boundless creativity as opposed to thinking to much.

The two are very different, the creating with logos vs mythos? “thinking too much” just becomes an inhibitor to creating with purebeing purecreativity. Go beyond that, and then beyond that, …

Some artists worry so much about, “giving a message” “saying something” (and that becomes the whole piece) (and if there is “worry” present the work will fail the artist and viewer) (not that giving a message is bad, but worrying is death) (conclusion? I guess don’t worry, and just keep working)

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Mindfullness walking – encounter with different beings. Strutting in the middle of the street – proud man.

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Number crunching number crunching 10 years ago that is predicated on really caring what is going on. Night in total darkness without light I can feel at home no eyes looking at me nobody to care about what I do alone and free, but I am alone in this.

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I have to learn to change or I have to really put a lot of effort or energy to be good – this is just an idea. This notebook has to be transferred to be mine (deleted) this transfers the spirit of the work I am going to be fighting this all my life the spirit behind the work for me for “them” for an idea. What is the “what is the spirit behind the work”? (deleted)

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That’s fine yeah ---- a fine man and sometimes he goes home and works 29 or 30 years and life is too short and I will go home and do 29 or 30 years of work and that is a lot of work.

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She shot me in the mountain retreat. We used to be so organized I could plug it in myself. But that does not constitute an… well I hate to say it for embarrassment but for aggression.

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Cosmic burst – vodka on ice

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