Phase 4 (arbitrary phase breaks)

Fragrent matter it is all coming together now. I am burning but not so alone anymore. I need her to just take care of me sometimes. Just hold me make everything all right no so alone so alone. Complexity. Implications for increase in information on my consciousness. What is power – better – how does increase in power change my consciousness. My relationships – humans relationship to this planet why save anything.? Humans seem to be tending toward a more and more visual or digital world “on the screen” view. – Less internalizing thoughts? Detachment from actual materials astetics moving from 3-D and 2-D manually produced things to digital flat bright so different from our evolutionary past – is it? What does that mean? Evolution is a co-opting of existant parts for use in new ways. Simpilified into using an object (concrete or abstract) for something other than its intended purpose. Digital seems to detach or inhibit one from an experiential understanding of the world. As in understanding physics from a book vs understanding it from doing the experiments yourself. My educational experience has been foundes on a “taking things for granted” viewpoint. Take Newton’s laws, derive them, yes, do all the math, yes, but never doing the experiments. It all means nothing to me. I need to see it feel it understand what a model really is! View science as a model for our unexplainable unknowable existence. Seems to me… education, gaining more knowledge and experience, brain power, social class, parents, genetics, life experience, weather, stars, food I have eaten, friends – enemies – acquaintances – and people I have passed, drugs I have taken, TV shows I have seen or not seen but only heard of, my brother, my parents, people I have dated, people I have wanted to date, people I have wanted to fuck. What is it? Explode books. Understanding the basics not taking them for granted. Fluid motion forward not with bludges in time. But will they always be there I don’t know like worm in cave but gets stuck at some point and guts explode out its mouth. Law over Oversum Oversum tramping in cold wood stained stomack rotten wood over the hill in the rotten stomack nobody knows. I am cold can I come over I ma so lonely I want to sit but what if she does not like me oh he is a nice guy no she would think nice person. We love the classics. We hate God and Jesus. What is on your face. Repititive actions make fears go away fear – repetitive actions. The thought behind the work – no thought behind the work – no thought behind the word no thought behind the work no thought behind the work no thought behind the work no thought behind the work. I don’t think well I don’t feel well I… I… don’t there is no point in me. I am pealing all my muddy flesh. Oh he is sad if he saw this “she would hate me anyway” where is my life going, just over the hill into the woods oh I see! Just let what is on there out. Fly home baby. I am having a fucking heart attack. Not mine sent to mine hotter. Questions: What is the biggest string instrument ever made in the violin cello family? Formula for AMD Al hydroxides, What is he melting temperature? I love beer. Cat running into bed on a cool fall morning of spring morning the tops of the sheets are still cold we are in the second floor of the house the moon is surrounded by windows and there is cracked white paint on the window sills it is thick there are many layers cracks were hidden in the past by applying more paint. Cat stoned in weathered mobs. Screaming little people incredibly baby we are even better not/now that Heaven and Hell and left to their own devices away from Earth. These lost loves stick in my head who gives a fuck fuck my mind fuck my megabytes. I am at this point in my life just another point. Or is it the point they say something like that but I think I see it. Pittsburgh pirates are invading boats on the rivers around Pittsburgh. Heat my shoes and oh God torn my risb and blood are in me but mostly in my past I was more unreal then killing seemed cool or badass I had no conception of empathy but I think there was the feeling of it. The two were not yet connected. Teach children to kill at a game. The future of war. I think it is a very smart idea. Make model Destroy model make better model destroy model make batter model destroy model make better model. Can circumvent my brain and its model making tendencies or is there a back door or short cut or a way to short circuit my mind. What – is it important? Is “is”. I don’t think I can come back from this one. Well it, I think that way… maybe I should drink more? Yeah. I arrived at the house after midnight. Started by following some leads but all I found were (illegible). Smoke under the Night, my. Resolutions about tonight dissolved with the closed door. Streets closed by the fat man, Carlos is his name. He is a technophile. Constantly on his i-Phone or Blackberry. What is information? It has a “objective” definition that is it is defined in a dictionary. More important is how information is used. I live in a box. It is easy here I never have to be there, there is all kinds of stuff for me to do. I live in a box. It is easy here I think about waking up. I plan on doing things. My life is going to be amazing. I never have to be there. Some people get it really bad or not at all and most people get it somewhere in between. Weathering of Ultramafic CO2 Sequestration. White one building to reduce heat energy being absorbed by the earth. Rocks good. Natural. Natural? Art? That nothing timing moth moth nothing timing. Something about working in a medium that has a long history. It is safe in that at this point in time everything has been done. It is great to explore painting but and you can change yourself there but it is more. Excitedly go down a path totally unknowm. Window of opportunity my mind always changes. To Where. What it ito. Why do these things always fuck us up. So little but so big as I grow older things are less important. There is no history I care to care about. I feel connected to my city. I feel fleeting moments of connectedness connect just do it connect. Sit there and make yourself do it all the time no matter what is going on. Just excuses just entrenched feelings no judgment. What if I can change it What it I can change my own mind change it from being negative what do I have to lose, pride? Fuck you pride. Changed my mind. Change my mind. Change my mind. Remodel. Malachi "Buck" Mulligan – Malachite – Green – Ireland.